In case you didn’t know, I got married about six weeks ago. (See photos!) My beloved and wonderful husband, Anthony, and I have been busy settling, and you may see some changes coming to my website (and name) in the weeks and months to come. But don’t worry, we’ll make sure things don’t get too confusing. 🙂
I’ve discovered a lot of new things as a newlywed. One is that, whenever people hear you just got married—or see you for the first time since you’ve been married—they love to ask a particular question.
“So! How is married life?!”
If Anthony and I are together when we are asked the question, we generally look at each other (we’re quiet folks, you know) and eventually come up with something like, “It’s good…busy, lots of adjusting.” If I’m alone, my reply is pretty similar.
How do you pack one of the hugest transitions of your life into a one-sentence answer?
The truth would take a while to really process and explain. The truth is some days being married is absolutely wonderful and thrilling, and some days it is fun, and some days it’s just comforting and consoling, like when we both come home from a long day of work and commuting and grab leftovers for dinner and sit and watch Dr. Who together and just unwind. And some days it’s kind of frustrating, and some days, it’s really hard.
And sometimes it varies not by days but by the moment.
I guess in some ways marriage amplifies the usual stress of life, because all the usual family drama and work stress is doubled between the two of you, and while any relationship will face tension at times, when you put two very different and sinful people, man and woman, together in the most intimate of relationships and try to weld them into one (John and Stasi Eldredge compare it to being locked in a submarine together!), you are bound to get some rather special combustions at times.
Being married is hard sometimes. But then, so is life.
My sister, who is finishing her junior year of college, mentioned recently how she’s lived much of her life up to now with the mindset of, “Once I finish high school…college…this year…then things will surely settle down and get easier.” And how she’s realizing that is going to happen—well, never.
I’ve been showing Fiddler on the Roof to my 10th grade English class lately, for cultural context and compare/contrast with their current literature text, The Chosen by Chaim Potok. I’ve loved getting an excuse to watch this movie again—especially with kids who’ve never seen it. But yesterday, we watched the scene with Tzeitel and Motel’s wedding. It struck me close to the heart, seeing Motel getting dressed up and thinking of Anthony as he prepared for our ceremony, watching Tzeitel’s face as she looked at her groom and remembering being in that place myself just a few weeks ago.
And then hearing the song, “Sunrise, Sunset,” which I danced to with my dad at our reception for the father-daughter dance.
It’s one of my favorite songs from the movie, and the words never fail to move me with their poignancy and truth.
Here’s the clip from the movie if you want to see:
That’s how life is, isn’t it…happiness and tears, often intertwined, both always present, it seems. We can’t have one without the other, not until heaven.
But just because life—and marriage—are hard, doesn’t mean they aren’t be good. And I think we appreciate the happiness all the more because of the seasons of tears.
Just for fun, what movie/musical wedding scenes and songs do you love most? Please do comment and share!