The sermon series at church lately has been on, “How do we love?” Each week, the speakers have focused on loving a different group of people. When the focus has been on marriage and singleness, a couple of points especially stuck out to me.
Marriage is good.
Singleness is also good.
Marriage is hard.
Singleness is also hard.
Both are very difficult, and both can be very good. And God uses them to shape us in different ways.
I have been single, and now I am about to get married. And just from being in the very close relationship that comes through engagement, I can see the truth of all these statements more than I ever have before.
I was at college when I first heard the song below. I often sang the song teary-eyed, because usually the lyrics seemed to come onto the overhead when I wasn’t expecting them. But also usually when the Lord knew I needed them—even if I didn’t want to hear it at the time.
I didn’t always want to hear these words…because I knew what the Lord was telling me. He was enough for me—even though I wanted more. Even though sometimes I desperately just wanted a man in my life—Jesus kept reminding me that He, and only He, was enough. Not just enough, but more than enough.
About two years ago, when Anthony and I were still early in our relationship, I went to his church for the first time, to a Good Friday service.
When we got to the church, a four-year-old girl whom Anthony has been close to since she was born (she’s now our flower girl) came running to him and sat on his lap for much of the service. And yes, my heart melted a little bit. What single girl wouldn’t go bit mushy inside at the sight of a handsome guy lifting a little girl up to stand on the chair in front of him in church, holding her secure in front of him as we sang worship songs?
Then the song changed. And those lyrics popped up on the screen.
It’s hard to pinpoint why it hit me so hard, seeing that song again after a number of years. At the time, it just felt like the Lord parting the curtains of heaven a bit, reaching down to touch me, saying, I remembered you, see? I was there all those times when you sang this song with an aching heart and through tears, and I am here now.
Today, I am engaged to Anthony. In fact, we’re getting married in only two weeks. (Hence much of my recent absence from this blog!) But now, two years after that Good Friday service I remember so well, I actually sense even more meaning to that song than I did at that time.
The thing is, I’ve realized no human, no matter how great they are, can ever be enough for us. And to expect them to be would only lead to more heartache and disappointment than this world already carries.
I am very grateful to be engaged to Anthony; I love him so much, and I look forward to being his wife. But my need for Jesus as my constant companion and Prince and friend hasn’t lessened since getting engaged. I think I am more aware of my desperate need for and dependence on Him than ever.
It’s been a hard year in many ways. I’ve started a pretty consuming new job, Anthony’s work has been stressful, he has moved, and I’m getting ready to. Wedding planning has proved to be as taxing as people claimed. Anthony and I have hurt each other, exasperated each other, and had many long talks to work things through. Sometimes it has been, to quote from John and Stasi Eldredge in their wonderful book Love and War, “fabulously hard.” And we’re not even married yet!
And He is enough. More than enough.
Why do you think we tend to believe we need the Lord “more” in certain seasons than others? How has He proved Himself to be more than enough for you? Please comment and share!